Tips for Black Men Dating Asian Women
Dec 14, 2013 0:12:48 GMT -8
Post by Greg on Dec 14, 2013 0:12:48 GMT -8
Black men, Asian women relationships happen all the time and they are great when they do happen. Here are some general tips for black men who are interested in dating Asian women. Every lady is unique, so please treat these as general tips and adjust them as necessary for your relationship. Some of these will sound like no-brainers, but common sense is not always common, so it's worth stating even the obvious sometimes.
1. Work on your hygiene.
Many Asian women put a lot of value on hygiene and will avoid you like the plague if they sense that you do not have good hygiene. Clip your nails before every date and absolutely no dirt underneath your nails. Take a shower before every date - doesn't matter if you already showered earlier in the day, take another shower right before the date. Brush and floss before every date even if you already did so earlier in the day. Be careful where you put your shoes - many Asian women believe that the bottom of your shoes collect a lot of filth and dirt throughout the day, so they are very sensitive about the placement of your shoes. In general, leave your shoes at the door when you enter a residence and never place your shoes in a place where people will sit or lie like on a couch or on a bed - big no no. The same goes for your pants or other clothes if they get dirty due to being outside or in a public place. If you sit in a public place which is really dirty, be careful about then sitting on a couch or a bed in a residence.
2. Respect her strong family connections.
Many Americans behave as an individual in all matters including family matters. American's may or may not listen to their family's opinion, but either way many times they will do whatever is best for them as an individual, not necessarily what's best for the family. Generally in Asia, the family bonds are much stronger and a women's family can greatly influence her actions as an individual. If she is Chinese for instance, Chinese New Year is a really big family holiday for her and you should respect and support her family time during this time of the year. Her parents, particularly her mother typically, has a huge influence on her life at any age and may often be one of her top advisors. Realize that whether you want to or not, you are often dating the Asian lady's family, and not just the Asian lady. Respect this and honor her family. If her family does not accept you or like you, and she still insists on dating you, realize that her dating you against her family's wishes is probably one of the hardest things she has ever done and do not take this lightly. Find ways to be acceptable to at least one of her family members, if not her entire family and never dismiss her family interactions.
3. Focus on her as a person, not just her ethnicity.
Realize that she has guys coming at her all day with their yellow fever fantasies and most Asian girls are fed up with it. Many Asian women want to meet real men who respect and treat them as individuals first. In all likelihood, your Asian lady will treat you better than any other women has ever treated you, so you should work your best to treat her better than any other man has ever treated her. In order to do this, you have to know her at an individual level - what does she like or dislike, what are her dreams, what's her favorite food, what's her favorite place to go out to, what things will make her life function better, etc? Being Asian is just a piece of who she is - don't forget this.
4. Learn about her culture and language
You may both speak English, but you will most likely have grown up in different cultures. The cultural differences and how you both handle them will be one of the keys to your relationship. The cultures are very different and you have to be willing and able to find ways to bridge the differences. Sometimes you adopt her culture, sometimes she will adopt your culture, sometimes you will meet in the middle, and sometimes you will both agree to just let the difference exist without creating an issue. Generally by virtue of her living in the US and speaking English, she has already started to understand your culture although there will still be much that she just doesn't know about your culture. You have to likewise start to learn about her culture and language as well, even if there will still be much that you don't know at the end. A small example - in many Asian languages, intonations are a standard part of the language and indeed the exact same word with a different intonation can have an entirely different meaning. Some Asians speak English with these same intonations - just a habit - and some Americans mistakenly hear these intonations as anger, excitement or bad attitude when the Asian speaker is not intending to convey any of these emotions. If you study her culture and language, it will help you in these kind of situations when what she is doing is mostly driven by her culture and language and not by some other emotion. If you never study her culture and language, you can be jumping to the wrong conclusion many times.
5. Be confident, be funny, have swagger, but always treat her with the utmost respect
Most all women like confidence, funny, and swagger, unless you over do it - don't be cocky and don't be a jerk. The respect thing and treating her like a lady at all times will go a long way towards separating you from other guys. Chivalry is not dead and it is not lost with Asian women - open doors, walk on the outside when outdoors, pull her chair at the table, stand when she enters the dining area, etc - these little things go a long way, particularly since so many guys do not practice chivalry. This is also an area where Black men can bring their unique confidence, humor, and swagger (think Steve Harvey) which can be attractive to all women, but if you can blend these things with being the perfect gentleman at the same time, you can really melt her heart.
6. Be conscious of what you eat and watch your weight
Many Asian women are very conscious of the quality of the food that they consume, so you must do so as well. Partaking in the occasional junk food will typically be tolerated, but a constant diet of junk food or low quality food will typically have her rethinking your relationship. Also many Asian women are thin, maybe even petite and while you do not necessarily need to be as thin as she is, you should at least be weight height proportional. Also no matter what your size is, you should always be striving to keep it fitter and firmer - as long as you are working on it, that will go a long way. Many times, she will be an eager participant in helping you with your diet. Finally, make sure you are doing whatever you need to do to keep your stamina up - you will need it and it will be much appreciated
Don't believe the haters - Black man, Asian women relationships work very well. Good luck to everyone!
1. Work on your hygiene.
Many Asian women put a lot of value on hygiene and will avoid you like the plague if they sense that you do not have good hygiene. Clip your nails before every date and absolutely no dirt underneath your nails. Take a shower before every date - doesn't matter if you already showered earlier in the day, take another shower right before the date. Brush and floss before every date even if you already did so earlier in the day. Be careful where you put your shoes - many Asian women believe that the bottom of your shoes collect a lot of filth and dirt throughout the day, so they are very sensitive about the placement of your shoes. In general, leave your shoes at the door when you enter a residence and never place your shoes in a place where people will sit or lie like on a couch or on a bed - big no no. The same goes for your pants or other clothes if they get dirty due to being outside or in a public place. If you sit in a public place which is really dirty, be careful about then sitting on a couch or a bed in a residence.
2. Respect her strong family connections.
Many Americans behave as an individual in all matters including family matters. American's may or may not listen to their family's opinion, but either way many times they will do whatever is best for them as an individual, not necessarily what's best for the family. Generally in Asia, the family bonds are much stronger and a women's family can greatly influence her actions as an individual. If she is Chinese for instance, Chinese New Year is a really big family holiday for her and you should respect and support her family time during this time of the year. Her parents, particularly her mother typically, has a huge influence on her life at any age and may often be one of her top advisors. Realize that whether you want to or not, you are often dating the Asian lady's family, and not just the Asian lady. Respect this and honor her family. If her family does not accept you or like you, and she still insists on dating you, realize that her dating you against her family's wishes is probably one of the hardest things she has ever done and do not take this lightly. Find ways to be acceptable to at least one of her family members, if not her entire family and never dismiss her family interactions.
3. Focus on her as a person, not just her ethnicity.
Realize that she has guys coming at her all day with their yellow fever fantasies and most Asian girls are fed up with it. Many Asian women want to meet real men who respect and treat them as individuals first. In all likelihood, your Asian lady will treat you better than any other women has ever treated you, so you should work your best to treat her better than any other man has ever treated her. In order to do this, you have to know her at an individual level - what does she like or dislike, what are her dreams, what's her favorite food, what's her favorite place to go out to, what things will make her life function better, etc? Being Asian is just a piece of who she is - don't forget this.
4. Learn about her culture and language
You may both speak English, but you will most likely have grown up in different cultures. The cultural differences and how you both handle them will be one of the keys to your relationship. The cultures are very different and you have to be willing and able to find ways to bridge the differences. Sometimes you adopt her culture, sometimes she will adopt your culture, sometimes you will meet in the middle, and sometimes you will both agree to just let the difference exist without creating an issue. Generally by virtue of her living in the US and speaking English, she has already started to understand your culture although there will still be much that she just doesn't know about your culture. You have to likewise start to learn about her culture and language as well, even if there will still be much that you don't know at the end. A small example - in many Asian languages, intonations are a standard part of the language and indeed the exact same word with a different intonation can have an entirely different meaning. Some Asians speak English with these same intonations - just a habit - and some Americans mistakenly hear these intonations as anger, excitement or bad attitude when the Asian speaker is not intending to convey any of these emotions. If you study her culture and language, it will help you in these kind of situations when what she is doing is mostly driven by her culture and language and not by some other emotion. If you never study her culture and language, you can be jumping to the wrong conclusion many times.
5. Be confident, be funny, have swagger, but always treat her with the utmost respect
Most all women like confidence, funny, and swagger, unless you over do it - don't be cocky and don't be a jerk. The respect thing and treating her like a lady at all times will go a long way towards separating you from other guys. Chivalry is not dead and it is not lost with Asian women - open doors, walk on the outside when outdoors, pull her chair at the table, stand when she enters the dining area, etc - these little things go a long way, particularly since so many guys do not practice chivalry. This is also an area where Black men can bring their unique confidence, humor, and swagger (think Steve Harvey) which can be attractive to all women, but if you can blend these things with being the perfect gentleman at the same time, you can really melt her heart.
6. Be conscious of what you eat and watch your weight
Many Asian women are very conscious of the quality of the food that they consume, so you must do so as well. Partaking in the occasional junk food will typically be tolerated, but a constant diet of junk food or low quality food will typically have her rethinking your relationship. Also many Asian women are thin, maybe even petite and while you do not necessarily need to be as thin as she is, you should at least be weight height proportional. Also no matter what your size is, you should always be striving to keep it fitter and firmer - as long as you are working on it, that will go a long way. Many times, she will be an eager participant in helping you with your diet. Finally, make sure you are doing whatever you need to do to keep your stamina up - you will need it and it will be much appreciated
Don't believe the haters - Black man, Asian women relationships work very well. Good luck to everyone!